From the Internets: Advice for New Moms

Today I have randomly discovered (ok, the first few were random and then I started searching) several good lists for new and/or expectant moms.

To save you some time, here are some really good ones.  My favorite tips are highlighted.

• Scary Mom: Tips for Brand New Moms

5. Point the penis down to prevent leaky boy diapers. (Why on earth does nobody tell you this?)

• Dances with Chaos: Top Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Became a Parent

7. Being exhausted isn’t just for the Newborn Phase: there is also the Teething Phase, Sickness Phases, Learning to get up to go Pee in the Dark Phase, and eventually the Has to be at School at 7:45 AM Phase.

• Pregnant Chicken: 10 Things to Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

Favorite because I have been getting this way too much lately:

1. “You look so big/small.” Remember when you were a teenager and you didn’t want to be unique in any way? Well pregnancy is the same and nobody wants to be told they look huge or teeny because it just scares them. Anything different from other pregnant women = weird = giant freak baby or creepy peanut baby.

• The Next Family: Top 10 Things You Need to Know When You Have a Baby

It was too hard to post just one favorite! So you get two, but seriously read them all.

1. Take everything you can from the hospital. It’s all great and you can’t find anything like it in the real world. Blankets, diapers, bottles, thermometers – but most especially, the little blue suction thing that they use on the baby’s nose/mouth. You’ll never find another one like it.

and

10. Don’t listen to a word she says. I know you’ve experienced a hormonal mom-to-be, but you have no understanding of what a new hormonal nursing mom is. Don’t let anything she says get into your head. None of it will make sense. It’s completely illogical. This won’t stop until at least a month or two after she stops breastfeeding. Hopefully yours won’t decide to nurse forever and you’ll find your wife again one day soon. Or better yet, she’s decided formula is the way to go.

• The Poop Whisper: Mom tidbits….by Jess

Pharmacists are the absolute best people to talk to when it comes to medications. Doctors, while medically helpful, really don’t know much about meds beyond what they read. Pharmacists know drugs inside and out, so make friends with your local pharmacist. I’ve utilized mine about everything from kids cough meds, to the best topical lotion for eczema.

• BONUS: Scary Mom’s Dear Expectant Mother

• DOUBLE BONUS!! The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever

UPDATE 4/12/11:

• Lisa Catherine Harper on Rookie Moms: Guest post: motherhood is a double life

Have lunch. At a restaurant. With a friend. Anywhere–even a grown-up, nicer place. Take advantage of your new baby’s portability. If lunch seems too daunting, start with coffee.

• Rants From Mommyland: Five Things I Should Know By Now

Don’t think they’re not listening when you’re talking on the phone. You know how I know? Because I overheard my daughter telling her brother “Mommy told Miss Ellen on the phone that Daddy’s just grouchy because of the time of the month that it is and because he hasn’t gotten any lately. Any WHAT, I wonder? I hope he gets some soon.”

What am I missing?  Let me know and I’ll add them to the list!